Scott Manning April 7, 2003 | Comments (3)

My office relocated to a new building this last December. The new work conditions have definitely improved, but there are some things we are still getting use to.

One of these things is the way the cleaning guys always throw out our water bottles. It doesn't matter what condition the water bottle may be in, the cleaning guys will throw it out. It could be empty, half full, or hidden behind your monitor, when you get in the next morning, that water bottle will be gone.

Like everyone else, I think it is ridiculous to spend a dollar a day on water. So I buy one water bottle and reuse it for as long as possible. At least that's what I use to do.

Today was the day my water bottle went missing even though it was half full and hidden behind my monitor. I was perplexed. After discussing the situation with a fellow coworker, he said, "It's because the cafeteria here sells water bottles. They throw them out so you'll buy more."

My eyes got big. It was like being told for the first time that the JFK murder was an inside job. "Holy crap. Are you serious?" My mind started racing in a stream of different conspiracy theories straight out of 1984.

I went to the cafeteria and sure enough, there was a large quantity of water bottles there and the people were buying. I felt like asking them if they all had the same problem I did, but realized I would seem like a crazy person.

The money being made
Once again, I have done the math. There are approximately 50 people in our office alone working in this building. If every person buys a bottled water a day, that comes out to $250 a week and $13,000 a year. Hundreds of people work in this building. This policy of always throwing away water bottles is putting someone's kid through college.

Well, I'm not just going to complain about it. I sent this email to the office today:

From: Scott Manning To: Office Subject: The Water Conspiracy

Fellow Water Drinkers, I'm sure you've all noticed how magnificent of a job the cleaning crew does around the office everyday. The only problem I have is that they always throw out my water bottle. It doesn't matter if the bottle is empty, half full, or hidden behind my monitor, they throw it out. Today was the day it was thrown out from behind my monitor. I mean, come on. I strategically hid it and they had to hunt for it. Tim DiPaula brought to my attention that it's because bottled water is sold in the cafeteria. I checked it out and sure enough, the cafeteria is stocked full of the stuff. And there were tons of people buying it. Could it be that there is a joint effort with the cafeteria and the cleaning crew to eliminate all bottled water, thus making the hard, working man purchase even more bottled water? A dollar a day may not seem like much, but after doing a little math, here's what we've got: If 50 people buy bottled water daily, that comes out to $275 a week and $13,000 a year. This is only counting workdays, mind you. I would assume that there are more than 50 people in this whole building buying bottled water. So what does this mean? It means that just like the overpriced soda situation, someone is making a pretty penny off of us. Also, our company is wasting money by keeping the water cooler stocked. The solution is simple: If you buy bottled water and want to reuse the bottle, hide it in your desk drawer. Then refill it from our water cooler. Leigh Ann has reported that this method has been successful for her so far. Scott Manning Functional Architect Work: XXX-XXX-XXXX ext XX Fax: XXX-XXX-XXX

Here are some good responses I got from the email:

Or, perhaps someone needs to tell the cleaning crew to stay off our desks.

- Sharon

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