Too many remotes in my life

Scott Manning
February 19, 2003 | Comments (10)

I guess there was a time when most electronic items didn't have remotes. I heard that even TVs didn't have them. Then someone found a way to control the electronic devices remotely without even touching them.

This had to have been a modern miracle. But this miracle has gotten out of control in my house as I now have too many damn remotes.

Don't believe me? Well, I've made a simple test: If you and your wife get in at least one argument a day trying to find a remote, you have too many remotes.

Still don't believe me? I've made a chart for you.

remotes (52k image)

This is the remote for the cable box. If I want to watch any pay-per-view shows, HBO, or any other special "digital" channels, I have to have a cable box with this remote.
This remote controls my older DVD player that now resides in the bedroom. It was replaced by the Xbox which plays DVDs (See remote 4).
This one controls the stereo system my parents got me five years ago. Yeah, it may be old, but it holds three CDs. Wow.
The Xbox controller. This is required to watch DVDs on the Xbox.
This is the TV remote. It is only used to turn on the TV and control the volume. The actual channel changing is done entirely through remote number 1.
This controls the VHS player.
The AC.

Consolidation impossible
For those of you who are thinking, "Why don't you just get one of those remotes that controls everything," let me stop you. It doesn't exist. Sure I can get a remote that controls most of them, but not all of them. I'm holding out until that remote hits the market.

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Comments (10):

1) Posted by: Steven DiBello
February 19, 2003 1:10 PM

I hear ya... although you can get one remote to control everything... but that is yet, another, remote... Oh, wait, noticed you didn't have the one for the XBox Yet... come one, get with it!

2) Posted by: Scott
February 19, 2003 1:19 PM

Number 4, man. Did you even read the article? ;)

3) Posted by: PhilB
February 21, 2003 11:09 AM

Is it a "remote" possibility
That technology brings with it disability
Paralyzing relationships we once had
As the touch of machine and the hand of my dad

No longer the intimacy or exercise it gave
Across the room we stare, eyes fixed in a glaze
Nary to lift more than a finger or two
Electronic beams working for me and you

Woe is me, am I undone?
Longing for the "good old days",
some old fashioned fun
Ha, that's a laugh; that one you can quote
You go get the chips, just hand me the remote

4) Posted by: Mr. Ree
February 24, 2003 2:19 PM

Got an iPAQ or a Palm?--they do have some experimental softwares out there so you can control everything from your ipaq. Now I mentioned palm above too, but I still haven't found anything that works like it should from Palm. Requires a little investment, but hey isn't the whole world converting anyway?

5) Posted by: Tim Kinney
April 28, 2003 11:45 PM

Scott,
The remote you seek exists!!! And the better part of the story? Its less than $60. The object that has eluded your search so long is known as the Sony RM-VL900. This thing is the best remote I've seen in years. Its not real flashy but dont let its simple design fool you, this thing has power under the hood.

For more information:
http://www.remotecentral.com/vl900/index.html

Good Luck. Best Buy carries these by the way.

6) Posted by: Bad Mouth
October 23, 2003 12:37 PM

Ah yes good old remote life.
That not only makes life easier but also makes life lazy and
in some cases deadly.
There are lots of people out there that come home after a good
day of work and slouch onto the couch and presto NO remote.
DAMIT where is that dam shit, mother of all god, I come home
to relax and now I have to search for that dam shit.
Then they reach out to the nearest remote which is 5 feet away
and back onto the couch only to realize it�s the fuckin wrong one.
Now their pissed, not only for the reason they can�t find the remote
but also to yell at the next person that shows their face.
Where the hell is the remote, the other person would simply reply
how should I know you�re the one who had it last, now an argument
brakes out.
Which this reminds me a few years ago where this loving couple not
only loved themselves but greatly depended on an electronic object
that not only made them miserable but also made them lose their life.
Now the wife is in the can, and the husband in the grave.

To me remotes are the reason people are fat and lazy period.
Instead of them walking a few steps just to turn on the TV or
their little entertainment center, they greatly depend on an object
that not only they can live with out but they would waste their
energy that they have left to run around like a chicken with its
head cut off, then to simply walk over to the device and press a button.

My advice do it the energetic way:
Get into the habit of placing the remote on top of the device rather
then simply throwing it over to the side so you can go and take a shit
or sleep for the night.
This advice holds true for your wife, you will see that not only you get
to move a bit, you will always know where the dam thing is when you need
it.
B.M

7) Posted by: chantel
December 1, 2004 11:58 AM

hello i think remotes should be more easy to use! like god and this company sux!

8) Posted by: chantel
December 1, 2004 11:58 AM

hello i think remotes should be more easy to use! like god and this company sux!

9) Posted by: DON PECORA
November 30, 2005 12:11 PM

I had trouble just finding one remote to replace the remote I broke. I tried 3 different universal remotes and not one of them did all the features of my tv like PIP and auto program. Then my friend told me about this web site WWW.MIRACLEREMOTE.COM and I was gave it a try.Finally, a product that does what it claims it does. This remote worked every single feature of my old remote right out of the box. I did not evan have to put in any codes. I know this wont consoladete any remotes but if you need to replace an original this is the site. good luck Don P

10) Posted by: Craig
December 30, 2005 12:23 AM

Investigate the Harmony series of remotes by Logitech. I'm 100% sure it'll master 1-6 and 99% sure it'll learn the 7th. Programming is a snap, and the Harmony 880 is pretty kewl. Color, and rechargeable. It's a bit pricy for a chunk of plastic and circuitry... but it's very inexpensive compared to the enjoyment you'll get out of using your system easily enough. Trust me on this, if nothing else.